Let's Keep This Going

Photographed by Nama

haha idk, man...

Pop... What say I about you?

You didn't grow up with your father...

Yet, you were my first superhero, man (MISSION ACCOMPLISHED lol)

When Dj said he came from mom's tummy, I said I came from YOUR tummy. I remember the day you sat me on your lap and sang "Just The Two Of Us" by Will Smith and "My Love Is Your Love" by Whitney Houston as they were in rotation. I don't know exactly what was going on that day but I do remember being in that moment... and it's stayed with me to this day. You lead with a gentle hand and iron fist, always being fair and just, as far as I can remember. You were the worst disciplinarian because you just  knew the best way to punish the type of child I was aside from an ass-whooping; restricting me from my love at the time (video games), not letting me stay up and watch wrestling some nights, making me come in and stare at the walls when I acted up during play, or that one time as punishment you made us squat against the wall while holding up a gallon of water... I wasn't older than 10 yet, was I? lol We'd get popped if we lowered our arms, right? That or was it push-ups? I couldn't do five  lol...

You gave us the ideal childhood growing up in the 90s, man. I say that whenever I'm asked. We had all the newest toys, games, books, clothes, you name it... You carved out a full court for basketball with a damn-near football-field-sized yard... We had bikes and skates and knee pads and helmets and you let us roam the neighborhood and surrounding woods to interact with our environment independent of you... It was a dream being under the covering of your roof.


You always told me and D to protect each other... Made us fight for and against each other...  You brought our Justice (Alaskan Husky of the family) home when he was a baby and allowed us to grow with him... Our first pet (just remembered) was actually a gerbil whose tail we broke off somehow fighting over him, my brother and I... I think... Anyway...

The time I spent nurtured under your gentle hand and iron fist is the force quietly driving my desire to build character and capacity within myself now. You gave me the most liberating name. You always pushed me to do and be my best, never cutting me any slack or pity. You'd beat me the worst at games and sports while rubbing it in, which always infuriated me, yet, you soothed me like only your scruffy beard and stinky thumb could (He worked with tires so his thumb always reeked of auto)

I wish I could make a home for my children the way you and mom did for us... that's been another thing quietly driving me (for better or worse) but yeah, I told you I'm supposed to be better than you when what I meant was I'M HONORED TO PERPETUATE YOUR LEGACY. It's a badge of honor to carry your name and bleed the same blood as you. Our DNA is rich and powerful and living and I hope you get to see me perform sometime... I hope you get to see the mark I leave on this world... and I hope we can share the fruit of generations of our family's labors. I don't know what's to come of this rapping... I asked you what's one thing you'd do if you could get paid for it and you said fishing lol the simplest thing... Well, I hope you enjoy our time on this boat I got you and this high-end fishing equipment as much I will. Drink your beers in peace, man. 

On this Father's Day I find the greatest joy in simply being your son, flesh of your flesh...

I spoke to grandpa Jerry before he passed, btw... I had just met him prior... I told him I was proud of him, for what it was worth. Though I didn't get to meet him and still gotta go meet and visit with great-grandpa Albert, I'm looking forward to it.

​See you soon, old man.  

The Healing Powers of Holding Your Father’s Hand